I let this community die. I'm a horrible mod, aren't I? I'm sorry, guys. I'll try to do better, I promise.

Well, to see if I can get this comm up and running again (was it ever really running much?) let's have a discussion post! Because I'm the mod and I can do that. (Actually, you guys can do that, too, if you want.)

There's plenty of time to rant about things, so let's bring in some happy thoughts here. We're all young-ish and haven't probably had much of a chance yet to do the things we want to do...what kind of things do you guys look forward to being able to do that you wouldn't be able to - or would be difficult to do - if you had kids? What kinds of things are you able to do now that childed peers aren't?


I have classmates at college my age, or even a bit younger (I'm pushing 22 now) who already have kids and they're so limited with what they can do. They've missed classes because of sick kids, they don't have as much time for studying or working on projects...I haven't had to miss class but once for bad road conditions last semester. I don't get sick as often as they do, and when I do, I can just sleep it off (seriously, they're sick for the longest time, but I'm usually better in a day or two, because I'm able to rest). I don't have to worry about my study time being interrupted. I can procrastinate projects all I want and know that when I have to actually sit down and do it, I can, without worrying about anyone else.

And I'll be able to travel, without restrictions, once I finish college. Well, other than financial restrictions, but even that'll be easier, because it's just me I'd be paying for. I'll be able to go where I want, explore the places I want, eat where I want, and spend as much time as I want at places most kids would find boring. I look forward to being able to go to Japan, maybe to work there for a little while teaching English, and checking out the temples and shrines, and festivals, and historic sites like Matsue castle (well, I think that's open to the public. I hope it is!)

I have time to write books, so one day, hopefully in the very near future, I'll be able to get published. If I had a kid, it would take me so much longer! I can sit down and have long writing sessions, and not have to deal with taking care of a kid.

[Relevant story time]

I'm a NaNoWriMo participant. I have been since 2008, and I participated in Camp NaNo both months this past summer when it launched. Last year, my cousin (who has 2 young children, who were about 1 and 4 at the time) decided she would try to participate in NaNo, too. I know plenty of parents manage to finish each year, but they have it harder because they have another person dependant on them. My cousin dropped early on, and even though she tried to get back on track a couple of times, she couldn't, because her kids demanded most of her time. Even when I fell behind briefly, I could make up for it with lengthy writing sessions over the weekends.

There has been some...resentment and jealousy on her part since then; I finished a few days early, and had 53k words by the end of the month, and that book is well on its way to being self-published, but she hadn't even managed 2k. I think it's fully been hitting her since last November just how tied down she is by those kids, and she's been taking some of it out on me, with snide remarks and such (there was none of that before, I think because she never really tried to do much). I can't even really be upset about the comments she's made; I pity her, because she never gave a second thought to what she was doing, and now she's trapped.

Things sure as hell aren't easy on me; I have work related stresses, school stress, and just general real-life crap to take its toll. But I can do something with my life, whatever I want to. She can sit there and use her kids as a crutch, an excuse not to work - the whole "my kids neeeed me at hoooome with them!" crap - but she's never going to make anything of herself. What I do with my life is soley dependant on me.


Now, I'm not the only one around here. Who else wants to share your dreams (and relevant stories)?

This is your wonderful mod! This community isn't very active. There are some members here. Come on guys! Introduce yourselves! Let's get some discussions going. Have fun. Make some new friends. Share your thoughts, or something you went through. Something! Here, I'll start.

Something a lot of us hear is that we're too young to know what we want, when we say we don't want kids - ever. It's frustrating, to say the least. After all, just because we're young, doesn't mean we're incapable of making these kinds of decisions, whether we're 15, 19, or 24. Age doesn't matter - it's a matter of maturity, and of knowing ourselves.

I knew before I even started school that I didn't want to have kids - I hated playing with dolls and didn't like playing with other children. When I played 'house', there was no 'baby'. There was just me and the cats, and occasionally my little brother. Everyone was always telling me it was just a phase, that I would change my mind, that I would want a bunch of babies one day. That hasn't happened, and I know myself enough to know that it never will. For a long time, I didn't even have a specific reason for not wanting kids, and that's fine. We don't need any reason other than just not wanting them. After all, most parents don't have a specific reason for wanting kids besides "just because", so why isn't that reason good enough for us to not want them?

As I got older, though, I discovered reasons that I definitely don't want kids - not so much reasons to justify it to myself, but to justify it to others, because "just because" isn't a good enough reason to them. 



Now, what do you guys think?
 

I was too intimidated by the big community to post this, but maybe someone here will have the answer. :) I'm 20 and have known I don't want to have kids for years and years. Recently (3-4 years and counting) I have been very sick with a bone marrow disease like leukaemia that sometimes causes lupus symptoms. I also have at least one genetic condition that causes joint problems. However, I love kids and really want to adopt from Asia some day, probably just one but maybe two. I'm very against IVF (though I support peoples rights to do what they want to if they have the money) and I'm interested in helping improve accessibility to birth control and education in all populations.

Do you still count as "Childfree" if you dislike the "breeding" mentality but plan to adopt some day?

Hey guys, your mod here. Just wanted to share a link:

The Childfree Life was one of the first sites I came across when I first learned of the term 'childfree' and it is, by far, my favorite. There are a lot of very intelligent, open-minded individuals on the forum and I encourage everyone to check TCFL out.

Hey, guys. This is your mod, making the first post.

Young and Childfree is open membership, so go ahead and join and start posting! Check out the user info for community rules.

If anyone has any links or anything to suggest, just PM me.

And, I guess I'll make this intro sort of post, too.

My name is Kita, and I'm 19. I can't remember a time when I ever wanted children and my views certainly haven't changed as I've gotten older. I've been trying to get sterilized, but my age comes into the picture every time and I'm told I'm too young to know what I'll want and I'll change my mind. I'm sure we've all heard that at one point or another. My case isn't helped at all by the fact that I currently live in the bible belt, so everyone around here seems to think that everyone else wants a bunch of babies.

Though I don't feel that I need any reasons to not want kids besides just not wanting them, I have a ton of reasons. Mostly, it's because babies/children are so noisy, dependent, and sticky, and they cost a lot of money and take a lot of time to raise properly. I don't want that. I tend to be really introverted, and most of my free-time is spent writing, reading, drawing, or involved in some way with music, and I need my personal space. Kids don't allow for much of that X3.

It's nice to meet everybody!